Co-hosts Rachel Strella and Vixen Divine explore the topic of assertive women - and all that comes with it! In this episode, we discuss:
Real women, Real talk!
Co-hosts Rachel Strella and Vixen Divine explore the topic of assertive women - and all that comes with it! In this episode, we discuss:
Real women, Real talk!
Rachel Strella:
Welcome to episode two of the Light Her Project podcast, Real Women.
Vixen Divine:
Real talk.
Rachel Strella:
I'm Rachel Strella.
Vixen Divine:
and I'm Vixen Divine.
Rachel Strella:
Thank you guys for tuning into our second episode. Today's topic is assertive women in their bitch label. Yeah. Diving right into this today. So let's face it, when women are direct or they assert themselves, they're sometimes seen as a bitch. Several celebrities have dealt with this. Um, I know Christina Aguilera, Katherine Heigl. Um, so my team actually suggested to open up the podcast this time that we each other a couple questions.
Vixen Divine:
Hmm.
Rachel Strella:
So here's the first one and I'm going to go ahead and answer it and then I'll turn it over to Vixen. So the question is would you consider yourself assertive and if not why do you struggle with it? So you know I was thinking about this and I think there is an expectation that
Vixen Divine:
Very
Rachel Strella:
women
Vixen Divine:
much so.
Rachel Strella:
are supposed to be agreeable you know at least that's how I feel particularly in my work life. I think as women, it's our natural instinct to play nice. And it's funny because I believe it's situational though. In my home life particularly, you know, with my husband, I'm definitely assertive. I have no issues being assertive. And in my job, it depends on who's receiving. It could be a client, could be a team member, could be a vendor, you know? And there's a sense of confidence that comes along with being the boss, you know? And it allows me that assertive, you know, power and... the same with my team, but I struggle with my clients. I admit, you know, it's gotten a lot better over time, but I actually struggle more with female clients as far as asserting myself. And I was talking with somebody on Twitter recently, and she said that, you know, she's struggling with her team, and she witnesses this bitch label almost daily with her staff. And she
Vixen Divine:
Wow.
Rachel Strella:
said, yeah, she said, when they know the procedure. and they disregard and get corrected. Most times I could tell by their body language if they take accountability, silently of course. She said, I
Vixen Divine:
I'm
Rachel Strella:
don't
Vixen Divine:
sorry.
Rachel Strella:
need an apology. I just don't want it repeated. Some will never take accountability. And I could certainly relate to this and it
Vixen Divine:
Hehehehe
Rachel Strella:
would be great to have a meaningful conversation with somebody else who gets it. But when we selected this topic for the podcast, I think there may have been an assumption that men would be the issue. And let's face it, sometimes they are.
Vixen Divine:
here.
Rachel Strella:
My experience has shown me that it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman or a purple person. And when you assert yourself, you're just not liked. What do you think, Vixen?
Vixen Divine:
Well, I find a difference between, from what you said, the difference between men and women. Women see you as competition.
Rachel Strella:
Hmm
Vixen Divine:
Men see you as, oh, you're not as good as me. So this is the difference when you assert yourself women we we really do we are so catty Oh, we are catty. Oh that little thing the littlest thing. Oh, her hair is too long her nails too short Oh, she oh she thinks she's cute but all the little things like Even though you said nothing about those sentences It doesn't make a difference because this is basically and of course not every woman if you're not doing it we're not talking about you,
Rachel Strella:
Thank you.
Vixen Divine:
but most of the time if it's women and they're catty it's It's about something other than what you said.
Rachel Strella:
Very true.
Vixen Divine:
And that's the way, that's just the way they do. Whereas men, they supposed to be men. They're
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
supposed to be in the front. You're a woman. How do you know? How can you tell me?
Rachel Strella:
Yeah.
Vixen Divine:
This is that type of mentality that we still deal with, even though you are the boss. Which is exactly why I don't have employees, because I don't want to deal with it. How many times have we talked about this, that,
Rachel Strella:
Thank
Vixen Divine:
oh,
Rachel Strella:
you.
Vixen Divine:
I need to hire, and then it's just like, oh, but I don't want to.
Rachel Strella:
much easier to have less hassle, but hard to scale without.
Vixen Divine:
It is, it is, it is. But that's, that's, I think the differences in what I see. It's more of that difference in the gender as far as how people respond. As far as you rarely have a woman who has that attitude of, oh, she thinks she is something. you know, as opposed to a man thinking that how dare she thinks she's
Rachel Strella:
Mm.
Vixen Divine:
something.
Rachel Strella:
Okay.
Vixen Divine:
Because you are not supposed to like you talked about being nice and being Sweet and being you know that kind of thing So when you're not and you are this is how it's supposed to go because sometimes you have to put your foot down as the boss because things need to go a certain way and So for you to do that, they don't just straighten up and fly, right? They wonder who do you think you are to tell me to straighten up and fly, right? Even though they know they're not doing what they're supposed to do
Rachel Strella:
No, this is good. You're absolutely right. I hadn't actually thought about the competition factor, but it makes total sense.
Vixen Divine:
Well, there's not as much in the working world in general, there's not as, even though there's a lot more women than there used to be, there's still not as much room at the top for women
Rachel Strella:
Yeah.
Vixen Divine:
as there are, especially in certain professions. I mean, think about it, in your field, how many men as opposed to women? you know, are up at the top there, right? You have a lot of competition from men. So in that respect, you know, you are not seen, they don't wanna see you as competition. And when you assert yourself and then you're seen as competition, then it's like,
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
who does she think she is?
Rachel Strella:
Yeah, oh, yep, I'm with ya. Once again, I'm glad I own my own business and I don't have to compete with other women in that respect. You know, all right, let's go to another question. I'm really curious what Vixen has to say here. Has there ever been moments where you've held back from being assertive?
Vixen Divine:
Yes, I do that all the time. I have a way of dealing with it. Because sometimes you have to tell people what to do. I'll give you a soft example. For instance, when I'm giving a massage, there are people who receive massages all the time. So therefore they magically believe that they've morphed into a massage therapist. So
Rachel Strella:
I don't think I have.
Vixen Divine:
you are not one of those. Thank you. So they try to tell you what you should do as opposed... now there's a preference, of course everyone has their preference, we get that, but as far as what needs to be done in the body that is where my specialty comes in. So I am soft until I'm not.
Rachel Strella:
Thank you.
Vixen Divine:
I will explain, okay, Mrs. Smith, I understand that you like it this way, but let's go ahead and go over the body first and let's see what needs to be done. And then we can talk about those areas. And then when she says, well, I want this done, I want this done, I said, okay, did you pay me for my expertise? Or because then you could have just hired anybody to do follow your instructions. I said, you are paying me this amount of money because I've been doing this all this time. So you either want my expertise or you want me to just follow what you say. So in that respect, I kind of try that's my softness. I enlighten them to what they just said and what they're missing out on and how that really goes and what perspective and then people usually come, you know, like think about. So I intellectually. assertive as opposed to
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
being stern or that sort of thing because then if you don't want to follow my instruction then I let you know that I'm not responsible. I'm gonna
Rachel Strella:
Now that makes sense. Yeah, you know, the only example I could think of on this one, it's funny, I just have problems when I feel like I have to tell somebody something that feels like I'm correcting them, and I don't like feeling like that. So an example would be my cleaning lady. I love her. She's been my cleaning lady for like 15 years. And she comes on Tuesdays at 10am. However, when she comes early, there are times that she doesn't let me know, you know? And sometimes she'll text me, I'll be there at 9.30, no problem. But when she doesn't let me know, and it's 9.05 and I just got out of the shower, and Cleenly's here, I'm like, dang it! And I'm thinking to myself, all I need to do is just say, Hey Darla, you know, could you just text me, you know, if you're gonna come early? But I don't know why I had trouble saying it.
Vixen Divine:
Well, probably because you have, see you have an attachment to her. You have, over these years, I mean, yes, she may be. not necessarily part of your family, but she is part of your family in the respect where you've grown attached to her over all this time. So she's
Rachel Strella:
Yeah.
Vixen Divine:
like a friend in that respect. You expect to see her, you know, you know her, you know her personality and that sort of thing. So that's where it's she's not the cleaning lady anymore. As much as you may want to label she's past that. She's past it. When someone's been coming to your home that long, when you've been interacting with Oh, they're past that label. They're past that.
Rachel Strella:
That
Vixen Divine:
So
Rachel Strella:
makes
Vixen Divine:
that's
Rachel Strella:
total.
Vixen Divine:
why you feel that guilt.
Rachel Strella:
you know what so you know as a woman you know and this is to another woman you know i don't know if i have trouble telling a male though hey could you give me a heads up if you're coming early like orkin today and their time frame is just as messed up as comcast uh you know and i was like you didn't call us first if you're supposed to call i don't know what maybe it's again because i because i don't know this guy and i know
Vixen Divine:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Rachel Strella:
anyway but i just feel since i don't know
Vixen Divine:
You don't have a connection with the the orking guy. You have no connection with the orking guy. He is you know what he is. He's the orking guy. That's what he is. That's what he is. You know. And I mean, it's not that we are saying anything bad about their positions. It's just that there's a difference between what you do and who you are. So because she's been coming to your house that long, she's passed what you do. You know who she is.
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
Whereas the Orchid guy, he is what he does. Like, that's all he is, what he does. You don't know him enough to feel guilty about anything for him at all.
Rachel Strella:
You're right.
Vixen Divine:
So
Rachel Strella:
Well,
Vixen Divine:
that's why.
Rachel Strella:
let's pitch him back another question that we had here. So do you feel like you've gotten more assertive as you've grown older?
Vixen Divine:
Oh, I got a story for this. All right, so I've never actually had trouble being assertive at all. Like even when I was a kid thinking even back to high school, like I, you were not able, even if you tried and there were people who tried, I was not able to be picked on because I didn't care what you thought. You can only be offended, you can only be picked on, you can only be in that mindset. If you care about the person who talks to you, who's saying mean things, who's you know my mother told me when I was younger and she didn't lie but She didn't really explain it. So I kind of took it for what I thought it was. She told me if I smoked or drank that I would wrinkle. That I would wrinkle. Okay, and that's true. Eventually, eventually, right?
Rachel Strella:
You thought you were gonna instantly wrinkle?
Vixen Divine:
I thought it was going to be bad. I really thought it was going to be bad. So
Rachel Strella:
Wow.
Vixen Divine:
with that said, To this day, I still don't drink or smoke just because I just never, you know, I never started it. But it was that kind of lessons that were taught to me and those types of, I guess, kind of brainwashing even because I really believe I really believe that. That made me sure of myself. So
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
I would cover. for the people who were smoking, the kids that were smoking, I'd cover for you,
Rachel Strella:
Yeah.
Vixen Divine:
but I wasn't gonna do it. And so, because of that confidence though, that I got because I was following the rules. I didn't care what you said, I knew what was gonna happen in my head. I knew it was gonna happen if I did this, so I followed the rules. So, I was assertive in the respect where I would tell you, I told you the truth straight up, that's it, if you didn't like it. But back in the days, it wasn't about feelings. We didn't care if we hurt your feelings. You know, we just didn't care if we hurt your feelings. So being assertive was just a thing. It was just about telling the truth. It wasn't considered really assertive per se.
Rachel Strella:
That makes a lot of sense. There's safety in truth. And now I think truth is so nebulous because there is so much information out there. It makes it hard to be confident in what you believe or what you're seeing, what you feel. Because you don't even really know what your truth is sometimes.
Vixen Divine:
Yes, you can get the truth, like concrete truth. Or I should say, I shouldn't even say that, I should say American truth. Because when we look up at the sky and we consider it blue, who said it was blue anyway? So that is the accepted truth, right? Remember that the earth was flat, you know? But that
Rachel Strella:
Great.
Vixen Divine:
was the accepted, that wasn't true, but it was the accepted truth.
Rachel Strella:
Yes,
Vixen Divine:
So
Rachel Strella:
very cool.
Vixen Divine:
whatever you believe and the reason, you just have to have reasons that you believe it and be open to negotiation with that reason because just because you believe it does not mean it's right.
Rachel Strella:
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so last time we went into a couple of examples of what we're seeing, and so we're gonna do that again. So let's talk a little bit about Reddit. I don't really use it a whole lot, but there's great conversations, great Q&As on there. And there's a thread, and somebody said, why are women called bitches when they stand up for themselves?
Vixen Divine:
Ehh...
Rachel Strella:
Okay, so the context of this question was interesting and I'll read you the thread. She said, the first time I stood up for myself, one of my male peers called me a bitch. I was hurt by his comment, but I didn't care. He was saying, since when did you become a bitch? Then I said, I'm sick of being pushed around and I'm done being messed with. He walked away. Men get praised for standing up for themselves. That's so unfair. So there were a lot of comments on this thread. And the only thing that I can say about this is that I think that women let things build up in hopes that they'll get better. And when they don't, and they finally do say something, well, it can come off pretty strong, maybe too strong. And I think
Vixen Divine:
the
Rachel Strella:
that inconsistency could label us as a bitch. And I think honestly, for some women, it's easier to be passive aggressive. assertive.
Vixen Divine:
Well, I think it takes effort to even be passive aggressive, honestly. You know, those little, I call them snarky comments. Those little things that you say, like, just be out with it already. If you're going to do that, to me it's either all in or all out. You know, what's the point of, you know, that little snarky comment under your breath? You know, just say it. Whatever it is, get it out, get it done. I always say, because you know what? When you get it out and get it done, it's either going to be dealt with or it's going to go on. It's going to take its place at that point and you're done. If you are assertive enough, they're like, oh, I'm not going to mess with her and it will be done. It'll
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
be done. But
Rachel Strella:
Yep.
Vixen Divine:
that little passive aggressive just makes it go. on and on and on and on because it's like little comments to look
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
and that's that's not the way to go it's not it's just not just not the way to go.
Rachel Strella:
I just think sometimes, even though it's more work, it's easier for people, some people, to be passive aggressive than truly state how they feel.
Vixen Divine:
Do you think they feel like they're going to be judged?
Rachel Strella:
probably. They just don't know or they're not equipped with how to effectively assert themselves. So they'd rather, you know, they revert to just being passive aggressive. It may be all they know.
Vixen Divine:
That's a shame. That's a shame. That's a shame.
Rachel Strella:
Well, do you have anything you want to say about this before we move on to another thread?
Vixen Divine:
Well, I always have more to say, but I know we're, you know, I don't wanna talk too long, so let's go to the next one. I will give it a next
Rachel Strella:
Well,
Vixen Divine:
one.
Rachel Strella:
we'll go. So there's another thread on Reddit that asked, women who have learned to be assertive, what tips can you share with someone who needs to stand up for themselves more? This is a great kind of discussion after what we just talked about. So this thread had over 100 comments. A lot of people had a lot to say. So we went through all of these comments and distilled some of the most common answers to formulate what we consider to be the top five things that women do that sabotage their lives. power or assertiveness.
Vixen Divine:
Hehehe
Rachel Strella:
So the first one, stop apologizing, especially when something is out of your control.
Vixen Divine:
Okay, so I do that. I apologize all the time, but I have to say I don't mean it at all. It's true. It's
Rachel Strella:
See
Vixen Divine:
more
Rachel Strella:
you.
Vixen Divine:
out of habit, you know, something I say all the time as opposed to actually meaning it. So it's more to me like a hello, like, oh, I'm sorry, like, and it just moves on. I actually don't mean it at all.
Rachel Strella:
I agree. I do it too. It's just out of habit. Like, you know, it doesn't matter what it is. I'm sorry. It just works out.
Vixen Divine:
Right, right. I don't really mean it. So, you know, for all you people who I've apologized to, I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry. I meant that. I meant that right now.
Rachel Strella:
Alright, number two. Stop saying that's okay after an apology and don't truly accept.
Vixen Divine:
Okay, so yeah, yeah, that's okay. You do have to stop saying that. Because that gives the perception that they can do it again.
Rachel Strella:
Mm-hmm.
Vixen Divine:
You're telling them, yeah, oh, you gave them an apology, but you mean that that's okay, meaning it's not that bad, you can do it again. Like that gives them permission.
Rachel Strella:
Yes.
Vixen Divine:
And unless you truly want to give them permission, yeah, don't say that.
Rachel Strella:
I think there is an assumption that when we say that's okay that it was recognized that it wasn't okay But it probably wasn't Alright number three eliminate toxic relationships
Vixen Divine:
That's so easy but hard. Okay, so this is the problem with that. Okay, ladies, I'm telling you, this is the problem with that. You don't know it's toxic. You don't know it because you can't see it. In this case, honest to goodness, it is best if you ask your friends because your friends see what you don't see. In all honesty, your friends see. How many times? Oh, you're getting a divorce. Girl, you shouldn't have married him in the first place. Well, why didn't you tell?
Rachel Strella:
What did she say? I didn't say anything.
Vixen Divine:
Because you're so, you know, starry-eyed and you don't see what... because they're on the outside of this relationship. Whether it's a toxic relationship, a love interest, whatever it is, you are in it. So you don't see it. So if someone says you're in a toxic relationship or you feel like you might be, honest to goodness, ask your friends and listen to that because they see what you don't see.
Rachel Strella:
Yeah, yes, you have to be open to that feedback. And a lot of people don't want to hear things like that, you know?
Vixen Divine:
It's hard. It is hard to accept, especially when you are in love or you feel
Rachel Strella:
Thank
Vixen Divine:
like
Rachel Strella:
you.
Vixen Divine:
that or you're feeling good about whatever the relationship is. It is hard to take that and hard to... But in the long run, remember that divorce? Wow, it might not have happened. It cost you time and it cost you money, didn't it? So saving that time and money would be very cost effective, right?
Rachel Strella:
You get
Vixen Divine:
Right?
Rachel Strella:
it? I'll get
Vixen Divine:
Very
Rachel Strella:
it.
Vixen Divine:
good if you just didn't do it in the first place. But you're right. As far as being open to it, that is something that you can't, you have to understand that you need to do. So you just can't. Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Rachel Strella:
Alright, well let's go to number four. Stop carrying what other people think of you.
Vixen Divine:
Oh girl, this would make the world so much better. Remember being bullied and picked on? You are only bullied and picked on and feeling bad because you let that happen. You are your own worst enemy. That in this situation, honest to goodness, now there's differences here. If they are physically aggressive to you, you know, touching you, hitting you. Like that's a whole another story, that's a whole another cast that we need, podcasts we need to talk about, okay? We're not talking about that. I'm talking about verbal abuse, I'm talking about saying names, I'm talking about people, and this happens when people tell you, oh you need to go kill yourself, you know, that's what they're telling you these bad things and you're internalizing it only because you actually cared about what they say. You know, honestly, are they are they giving you money? Are they buying you a car? Like, are they feeding you? Like, what is it that they are holding over you to make you care about what they say? Nine times out of ten, I mean occasionally it is a loved one, but nine times out of ten it is somebody, a friend or somebody on the outside who's telling you this. They really make no difference in your life whatsoever. So dismiss them, know your worth and stop it.
Rachel Strella:
I think that being on social media as much as we are now, I think that doesn't help because everyone has an opinion about you.
Vixen Divine:
Yes they do, good or bad.
Rachel Strella:
I'll say for me, there's always that one person that doesn't like me or doesn't know me, but the fact that I'm not the only one who doesn't like me. I'm not the only one who doesn't know me. I'm worried about what they think. It bothers me that they're judging me. I want them to know me, like me. So it bothers me. And I think that's something that a lot of women feel. Not you, Vixen. I know you
Vixen Divine:
You're
Rachel Strella:
are an
Vixen Divine:
like,
Rachel Strella:
equal.
Vixen Divine:
I don't care.
Rachel Strella:
But women like to be liked. I think most people like to be liked.
Vixen Divine:
Well, here's something. I don't know. Everyone, lots of people have different religions, but this might make people feel better who are in that situation. From a Christian standpoint, you are honestly not allowed to judge. So, in actuality, if they judge you, they're actually committing a sin. know how Christian this is what I'm about to say, but it might make you feel better. That's a sin. So what does that mean? That means they're going to hell, right? So if they're going to hell and you're not, does that make me feel better?
Rachel Strella:
That's definitely one way to look at it.
Vixen Divine:
You know because they are sinning they're judging you they're not allowed to do that so that's a sin. Judging.
Rachel Strella:
Well, let's go to number five. Start saying no. Never do something you don't want to do. Why is it so hard for women to say no?
Vixen Divine:
obligation. Obligation. It depends on who's asking. A lot of times it's, it is a friend, it is a family member, it's a co-worker that has a little kid that you know, you know, something that makes you feel like oh I need to help them out, that sort of thing. You, as women, we are caregivers by nature. So we want to take care of whatever the problem is for someone else. So we have to make a conscious effort to not do that. Not that we don't want to help, but we also need to help ourselves. And so if we say, yes, yes, yes, yes, enough times, and I see this so much with my retired ladies, you're retired. Well, darned if you know it, because it looks like you got a full-time job.
Rachel Strella:
Wow. Okay. Hahaha. Oh wow, those are the top five things that women do to stop tajar power right there. They, you know, and they, so we got to stop apologizing, stop saying that's okay, eliminate toxic relationships, stop caring what other people think, and start saying no. I agree with those. All right, we're going to wrap it up here with a little bit more of a what we're seeing discussion. So some of you may have seen the trend going on TikTok, Reddit stories called A.I.T.A. into this bitch label conversation about assertiveness. And I really have to laugh at this one because in my business, we have core values and one of our relationship core value fundamentals is don't be an asshole. It is something that we strongly believe within our team, within our clients, our vendors, don't be an asshole. It is a part of our values. So I think that there is a fine line between assertiveness, and then being perceived negatively. And I think it's always on the receiving end too. If like somebody could read an email and I look at it and I think, what an asshole. But someone else could read this email and be like, that was totally fine. You know, and I think email, any type of messaging, you text can always be misperceived.
Vixen Divine:
Mm-hmm.
Rachel Strella:
So there's that too. But you know, one of the things about this trend is we get to tell stories of... know, something that happened where we were assertive and, well, were we the asshole? So, um, I think Vixen said that she had a story to tell, so I want to hear a story and I can judge if she was the asshole. Let's
Vixen Divine:
Okay,
Rachel Strella:
hear it.
Vixen Divine:
so okay, maybe I was maybe I wasn't we'll see It always has to do with Being me because I am that person I pretty much lack empathy a lot kind of I call a spade what a spade is and you know I Have to work at caring about it because I just naturally don't. So with that said, I had a gentleman who, and I use that term very, very loosely, who said to me, that he wanted a facial. Okay, that is not a problem. Except in my business, I cater to women. So if you looked at the last podcast, you know that. I cater to women and I accept women only except under some certain circumstances. So I told him, I said, that is not a problem except I only cater to women. Now this is me talking to him. I only cater to ladies, I said, because it makes them feel safe and I can cater to what their needs are in particular. And so he told me that that was discriminatory.
Rachel Strella:
Mmm.
Vixen Divine:
And yeah, he told me it was discriminatory and that he was going to sue me.
Rachel Strella:
Wow.
Vixen Divine:
because I wasn't allowed to do that even though this is my practice, my business that I wasn't allowed to do that.
Rachel Strella:
Good.
Vixen Divine:
I went a little bit further than that. I asked him, I said, okay, so if you want to do it that way, I said I have a particular part that of the facial massage that caters to ovaries and it caters to reproductive, the reproductive system. If you know anything about spots on the face, you know, we have different hormones and that sort of thing. So spots on the face. I said, so why don't we magnify that with you? I said, so if you come in and you get this, I said, um, I'll also give you a tampon for free. So I just, I considered it his fault because now tell me if I'm
Rachel Strella:
You
Vixen Divine:
wrong.
Rachel Strella:
threatened to show.
Vixen Divine:
I considered it his fault that because I cater to women only for specific women reasons, then if you are trying to get that I'm going to tell you what you're going to get and where you can shove it.
Rachel Strella:
Wow, good for you. Okay, I was
Vixen Divine:
And
Rachel Strella:
gonna say that's
Vixen Divine:
if you
Rachel Strella:
not
Vixen Divine:
don't
Rachel Strella:
a radical,
Vixen Divine:
have it,
Rachel Strella:
nope, nope.
Vixen Divine:
look,
Rachel Strella:
I
Vixen Divine:
and
Rachel Strella:
think,
Vixen Divine:
if you don't have it.
Rachel Strella:
you know what? I take this approach when I'm working in social media, and I get from all the things that I've posted on TikTok, I get some haters. My thing is this, I'll take one opportunity to try to set the record straight. If they come back again and they're gonna be a hater, it's done, I'm out. We're not playing this game. your block deleted whatever. You know, and I think that's your version of block delete. You know, you said, I don't work with men and he said he's gonna sue you. Well, sorry buddy. You just gotta taste your own medicine here. I'd love to know how he reacted to that response.
Vixen Divine:
Well, since he didn't have the appropriate hole to shove that up, where else do you think that might go?
Rachel Strella:
Wow. Hey, you know what? Did you get a lawsuit on you?
Vixen Divine:
No, no,
Rachel Strella:
No.
Vixen Divine:
no, never heard from him again.
Rachel Strella:
I think that it was, if it's considered an asshole, it is a genius asshole. I give you mad credit there for that one.
Vixen Divine:
Gotta shove it somewhere.
Rachel Strella:
Yep, I like it. Okay, well, we're coming to the end of this. I'm sure the audience will have things to say about your story. Is there anything else you wanna add about this topic of women assertiveness?
Vixen Divine:
No, no, no, I think I was pretty clear on that, but I hope this hits some people who are having this problem, you know, about usually it's guilt or just paying too much attention or caring too much. Believe me, your life is so much freer if you don't give a shit.
Rachel Strella:
You are absolutely right. Um, you're absolutely right. And I think I'm someone who struggles with assertiveness and you're absolutely right. I w I should take for a week to just don't give a shit attitude to everything that happens and see how I feel and report back. Cause
Vixen Divine:
I wanna
Rachel Strella:
I
Vixen Divine:
know!
Rachel Strella:
struggle with that. I'm a chronic warrior and I'm a planner and all of that. So, all right. Well, thank you to the audience for tuning in to the Light Her Project Podcast, and you can follow the conversation with our hashtag. Until then, keep it real. Real women.
Vixen Divine:
Real talk.