EmpowerHER: Entrepreneurship Unveiled

My friend and podcast co-host Vixen Divine talks with me on the topic of entrepreneurship! Did you know? In 1972, there were around 400,000 women-owned businesses. Today, there are over 13 million!

In this episode, we discuss:

• Our entrepreneurial origin stories 
• Deciding when it’s time to hire (or not hire)
• The pros and cons of being an entrepreneur
• The most difficult aspect of running your own show
• Advice we would give to someone just starting out
• What we’ve learned about leadership
• Perspectives of the entrepreneurial journey for women vs. men
• Female entrepreneurship at a glance: progress made in the past 50 years 
• A powerful interview with CHER

Real women, Real talk!

Transcript

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Welcome to episode 12 of the Light Her Project podcast. Real women, Real talk. I'm Rachel Strella. And I'm Vixen Divine. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Today's topic is one that is near and dear for us because we're gonna talk about entrepreneurship. Yay! So While we don't talk about it a lot, Vixen and I are both entrepreneurs and own our own business. So this will be fun. We're going to start talking about our personal experiences. Our team wants to know, you know, what's your origin story? How did you get started? How did you know you wanted to be one? So as I mentioned in my last podcast on the mentoring side, for me, it wasn't like anything that was in the stars. Like it wasn't even on the radar. I had a mentor at the time who was hearing me talk about all these jobs I've been through and she was like, you know, I think I might be an entrepreneur. And she kind of met that in a way where, yeah, you can't work for anyone else. But I think she, she was not wrong because it wasn't just I couldn't work for anybody else. It was that I had to like, I needed to have the outcomes I wanted. It was so hard for me. working for other people, I'd be working really hard and then they'd just change the initiative the next day. So like all that work that you do, you don't have that ownership. So that was really why I started, you know, but as far as knowing when to be one, this definitely was not something I would expect or I've ever envisioned, but I'll say that it is something I'll never want to do like anything else except for running my own show. Gotcha. Okay, that makes sense. When you feel that way, for me, it was more of a natural path because of what I do. So as a massage therapist, one of the paths that are readily talked about is being an entrepreneur, having your own place, having your own thing. So that is really something that wasn't necessarily foreign or something I had to think up. But after working, for someone else. I usually work for someone else and then I'd work for myself as well. I never really wanted to just work for myself because I just feel like that is just like you're not getting any other ideas. You know, I like the professional interaction as well with other therapists and other, so I do like that. But yeah, so for what my profession is, it's not unusual and it's not something that is odd for us. So as a therapist, it's kind of a natural path. That makes sense. Okay. Well, um, you know, we've both been in business for a little while. So one question is, how did you decide to grow your business and, you know, your teams if you have a team? So for me, I actually started my business in 2010. I built it alongside my day job and I put everything into it that time would allow. And I was really lucky because I was able to focus on my business full time in just a few months. But that's when it really started to get difficult. I just didn't know which route to go. And as you get more clients, you're faced with this age-old dilemma of, should I hire help but how much? And for me, it's a leap to hire. You don't wanna make that financial investment until you know you can actually maintain it. And I bit the bullet, in any event, for that first year or two, I decided to hire. I started with a contractor or two and then eventually an employee. I made mistakes. I learned quickly that you want to hire slow and fire fast. And I, about three years in, I retracted again and went back to handling most of the business myself. That lasted about a year before that's the starting point in the age-old dilemma. So I rinsed and repeated this cycle for a few more years until I hired a coach and got my act together. It was then that I learned the importance of core values because without them, I was just flailing around. So once I established them, how I grew the company became a lot easier, whether that was with people or not. And while I still make mistakes, I know that I need a team of people to carry the mission of the company. That's just my philosophy. And fortunately, the core values made that a lot easier to find those who align with us. And that can be difficult. The alignment can be very difficult. You have a value that you almost expect other people to have and sometimes assume that other people have and they don't. They have a different upbringing, they have a different thought pattern, they have a different way of life. So you bring them on, they have those skills that you're looking for, but sometimes they don't have the work ethic or they don't have what you value. In order of values, I should say. They value it, but it could be very low on their list. Oh, I got a hang nail I can't go to work today, you know? That makes that work a very low value. So having core values as your standard to begin with, as you hire, it really does, I feel like, make a difference for you and anyone else who has that because you know exactly what you're looking for because the standards then are the same. So for me, as far as hiring, I started with just work, like I said, dual working. I worked for someone else and worked for myself. Now I primarily now work for myself and I work just a few days a week. And that's what I prefer. So I prefer having the prices that I need to maintain the lifestyle that I want and the clients that I want fall in that scope of what I'm looking for. So there have been times, as you know, that I have debated because I have this extra time in the studio that could be taken up by someone else or I have extra tables that could be, you know, used with another therapist on hiring someone else to work with me in my studio. And those values, well... It is, I find in my, at least in my industry, we tend to be freer spirits. We tend to be free, you know? And so not necessarily, basically, I think you're kind of looking with the core values, you're kind of looking for a clone of yourself almost. Someone who, you know, thinks like you. And it's very hard and difficult sometimes to find that. So. I hadn't had any luck. No one stuck out to me. So it's always a no for me. And I'm happy with the outcome that I have. My clients are happy and I'm happy with the income that I have. You brought up a really great point, because one of the things that I struggle with is, you know, while it's always nice to have mini-me's, you know, I can't expect the same people that work for me to be the same as me. Like, I can't expect them to be me. And I think we would actually be counterproductive, you know, at some point in time. Well, I think we should align our values, but... I don't want the same expectations for them that I would have for myself. It's just a little bit different. I felt like at times I pushed that on people, um, and I've learned to back away. Well, let's talk about, you know, being an entrepreneur and what the pros and cons of that are. Um, and also, you know, what's the most difficult aspects that you've experienced and what was your solution? How did you handle it? I think the pros and cons, there are pros to where you can, you have that freedom to run your business the way that you envision it to run. You have that no one's, you're the boss, so to speak. So that's a good thing. You get the days off you want, you know, you get to work the times that you want. But there are definitely cons in the respect where What if something goes wrong? What if there's a glitch in your plan? You have to take responsibility for that. You can't just go home and clock out at five. That just doesn't happen. The work has to be done no matter what the work is, whether it's preparing for a client for the next day, or no one's there to do that for you, no one's gonna prep that for you, or whether it's meeting a deadline for something else that has to be done. So it's all you. So that is, you have to be willing to put in that work for that to get done by those deadlines or whatever the outcome needs to be. You have to be the one to do it and you have to understand that and be ready to do it. Cause if you're not, it's not gonna get done. So that is a definite con for some people. Some people like me and you, we don't care. We're gonna do it, you know? But some people they are you have to understand that if you are a nine to fiver, you need to check out at five entrepreneurship is not for you. It's just not because no, it needs to get done and you're the one who has to do it. So the most difficult aspect, I feel like, of entrepreneurship is the balance between work, whatever you're doing, whatever your business is, and your personal life. That can be very difficult to draw that line between the two. Because many people have basically lost their families because they lose touch. They're so dedicated to what, because it has to be done, they are day and night, day and night, pushing it, pushing it. And that can disconnect from the family that actually needs you. And you have to learn how to balance that. So that could be a very big problem. So the solution is, again, if you don't know how to do that, that's something you need to figure out or read up on or get a coach with to be able to do that prior to getting into entrepreneurship because that can really tear up the finances and your life. Wow. So I think you answered the question that I was going to answer the same way. So I'll put it this way for just about every pro there is an equal con. Okay. For example like you said. Pro, you're the boss. Con, you're the boss. Being my own boss was one of the reasons I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. I remember, um, in my first year of business, I had a customer, we were just talking, you know, he’d owned his business for a long time. And he said, you know, isn't it great? Like you had one boss and now you have 10. And he meant the customers, you know, and he's right. You know, being your own boss, just like you said, you're responsible for everything. The revenue, the brand building, the customers, their expectations, your team if you have one, and so much more. I mean, it is a delicate balancing act. And while you're in charge, you wear a lot of hats and so much can happen. It feels like you're out of control at times. I think the most difficult aspect, at least in my business, is when clients have to leave and has nothing to do with your work. For example, like when times are hard, for example, when the pandemic hit, the first thing that most businesses cut is marketing, even though it's a time when you need marketing the most. For some, it comes down to just keeping the lights on. And I get it. In a similar case, if a company decides to hire in-house social media manager, you know, rather than work with our company or my personal favorite, they want to go in another direction. It's hard because maybe you can relate to this, Vixen. You put so much of yourself into your business and you treat your customers like family. You want to do what's best for them. You've put your absolute best foot forward. It's difficult when they have to quit working with you and it's at no fault of your own. There's not really a solution when this happens. I've learned just to be as prepared financially as I can to weather the storms. And I also try to maintain a good relationship with those customers that are exiting. Sometimes it's easy to get in a routine too and not look at wins or milestones that you've achieved with a client. But I think it's really important to do that to showcase your value on an ongoing basis. I agree with that. I definitely agree to keep that relationship open because especially when it's no fault of your own, whatever the circumstances have happened that made them exit, you know, they may change in the future to where they, and if they have a good light of you, if they have a good memory of you, you know, you did good work, they'll probably come back to you, you know, if their finances allow, you know, that kind of thing. So I agree with that. And by this time, you probably got to know them anyway. So I think it's a very good thing to do. Well we have a core value of relationships so it goes hand in hand. But you brought up with a good point too about balance. That is a really tough thing and it's something that I've struggled with a lot over the years. I think I'm in a position now where I handle it pretty well but it's so easy to get sucked in. I've turned off the computer for the night and a half an hour later I get an email and it's something I have to handle. So there is that, it's hard to set the boundaries when you care about your work so much. Yeah, yeah, it is. So what's the best piece of advice you would give to someone just starting out? This is gonna be so hard to swallow. When someone wants to, they've got that gung ho and they're ready to start their business and this is gonna be great. They know what color scheme they're gonna have, what the curtain's gonna look like, where they wanna set up, what part of town, all of that. But planning, you have, you've got to lay it out. You've got to put it out as if a day in the life because as great as those curtains look, it won't matter if no one's coming through the door. So you have to have a marketing plan. You have to understand where your clients are coming from. Or is it something that you were doing from home and now you're opening, you know, you're scaling? You know, is it You have to make sure money is coming in. You have to make sure marketing is going, because every time, like you talked about losing a client, you never know when that's gonna happen. You have to have a new one coming in. Or else if you just rely on what you have, all those clients could go at any point if nothing else is coming in. So planning is the best advice I can tell you. And I don't mean, like I said, I don't mean planning the curtains. I mean planning what you're doing, making sure you are stellar at whatever it is you're offering. What is your, what is your brand? What is your thing that makes you set apart from other people that are doing that same type of thing? But what is it that you are known for? Understand it, market it, know it, and then be able to bring those people in on a regular basis. You have to plan for that. You're right. That was one I hadn't even really considered, but you're so, so right. I mean, I actually have three pieces of advice. So number one, I don't care what some of the flashy books or experts tell you, you will not work four hours a week, especially when starting out. It takes a lot of work, a lot of stick with it-ness, and a lot of grit. You have to be willing to play the long game. Two. I would also tell you to definitely define your purpose and your core values early on. It will save you a lot of time and energy and you'll probably avoid a lot of headaches by knowing what it is you stand for up front. And finally, you know, you can't do it alone. Regardless of whether you have employees or contractors, you will need to rely on other people. Fellow entrepreneurs, mentors, coaches, colleagues, friends, you have to get people that will tell you to get out of your own way. I do need to say this. For the person who has watched this so far and is like, oh my God, I could never be an entrepreneur after hearing all this, there is another option to consider. Franchising. Franchising is like cookie cutter. If you believe that, oh my God, this is too much, what we've said, there is the option of opening a franchise where they've actually, giving you the directions on what to do. So their cookie cutter, like, just take Chick-fil-A, for instance. That's a franchise. There's a book on exactly what to do, how they make their burgers, chicken, when I mean burgers, I mean chicken. Their chicken burgers, how they make their fries, how they make, you know, everything is laid out for you. You don't have to think about it, what time it opens. It's never open on Sundays because none of them are open on Sundays. Like, that's their standard. So everything is laid out for you. So if you are that type of person who doesn't think or believe that you have what we are talking about, but still kind of wanna run your own thing, think about a franchise. That's something that you could probably do. I think in the book, you might be thinking of the E-Myth by Michael Gerber. They just did a 25 year edition recently. But it explains the whole franchising business and breaks that down. But that's a really great piece of advice. I will say you'll need a good amount of capital for franchising. So but you have the procedures, you know, you won't have to figure out the plan, it will be ready for you. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So What have we learned about leadership in our roles? The only thing I'll really say about that is it's not what I thought it was. It's not what you might think it is. It's not management. It's inspiring others to believe in what you're doing so much that you can't tell the difference between them and you. That's what it's felt for me. And it took me a long time to get to that point. Again, go back to the core values and the alignment, but. To me, everybody on the team can represent this company as much as me. And they want to be here. And I feel like that that's what good leadership should be. And I would never have predicted that I'd be somebody that would be a good leader, but I feel confident that I've developed a, you know, formed a really great team and they're behind our mission. One thing about leadership I find is that you can be a leader without having a team. I've noticed that a lot. In this day and age, social media is super prevalent. You're a leader without even realizing that you're a leader. Someone is following you for what I call no reason at all. Just because something that you did clicks with them or resonates with them. They're following you, and sometimes they'll send you a message. They're getting a light from you that you didn't even know that you were emitting. So leadership is just not necessarily about having a business. Understand that you can be a leader to a younger person. You can be a leader to someone in your field who aspires to be better in their field because you're showing them what they could be. So leadership is just not about mentorship not about leadership not about being a good person. It's about showing the world what you have because someone is seeing you. Someone is seeing you so be air that show that whether you believe you're a leader or not. That is what I've learned about leadership can be you leadership can be me leadership can be anybody. It's just the only person who knows is the person who needs it I totally, totally agree with that. It's something I hadn't even considered, even though I should, I work in social media. You follow a person usually because you have that sort of emotional connection to them, or at least some connection. And what you say and do, well, it influences people and maybe the wrong way, but you're showcasing who you are. So you're absolutely right. Well, let's talk about what we're seeing for a minute. So... Many may not know this, but October is actually National Women's Small Business Month. So I'm going to talk about some of the progress that's been made in the last 50 years. So in 1972, there were around 400,000 women entrepreneurs. And today, there are over 13 million. Wow. So let's talk about, you know, being female entrepreneurs. What's that environment like? How is it different for women than men? And how have we personally found camaraderie with other women entrepreneurs? So for me, to be honest, I don't have a lot to compare it to because I'm not a man. I can only speak from my experience and I've been very lucky to have the support of both men and women in my role. I can only think of a few experiences where I felt like I wasn't treated like an equal at the table. But I think it had more to do with the circumstances at the time rather than my gender. We're so fortunate to live, you know, in a time where women have a lot of support in their careers and as business owners. Of course, my business is based online, which is a little bit of a different animal than if I were providing products or services in a physical space. Although it's become a lot more common since the great resignation and the pandemic. Yes. We do check-ins with every person on my team every so often. And one of the questions that we ask, you know, is what do you like about working with us? I recall one person saying that she liked that we wore a woman owned business and that we have mostly women on the team. That was one of the first times I ever heard that. And it was really fascinating to me. Then I heard it again. And both of these folks were younger during the twenties and you know, People can say what they want about Gen Zs, but they are driven by purpose. And I hadn't considered that being a female entrepreneur would help drive that purpose. So it's been an honor, really. As far as finding camaraderie, I again, I've been blessed with a lot of support from women as mentors and entrepreneurs. There are times that the environment can get a little catty too, especially in a competing field or industry. But I'll say, at least from my experience, that's the exception, not the rule. I am overall really fortunate. I also get a lot of enjoyment out of supporting other women business owners, whether it's just attending their events or in the mentoring capacity or offering an ear. You know, that is, you do have quite a few women, yeah, on your team. And, you know, some of them are, well, all of them are younger. All of them are younger. And, well, that's, you know, that's the generation that is into the online world. You know, that's how, in a lot of cases, they don't know anything else. You know, they didn't know where the offline world was, like we did. So, but for me in my industry, I am generally offline for the most part. A lot of it I'm hands on, a lot of it hands on. So I have seen then the men in my industry who are not necessarily competitive, but they are more guarded. They are more guarded. Simply because as a man in this industry, then they could easily be accused of something, you know, not acting appropriately and such. Whereas in women, we get it a lot less often. We get the opposite. Whereas we get... inappropriately inappropriate questions. Let's put it that way. Just go with that, which is actually one of the reasons why I service women mainly only. So it makes it a lot easier. It makes women feel a lot safer. But I will say that was something that you didn't have the choice of years ago. You didn't have a choice of because you just got what you got. You weren't allowed. You were kind of soft spoken because you were kind of in the shadows a little bit. It was kind of, it wasn't forthcoming to be a woman in business. You could be, but it wasn't something that was backed. It wasn't something that was accepted. You know, it was very, it was more of a man's world. That's a really good way of putting it. That's really a man's world. So I have found, have I found camaraderie in the female entrepreneurs? Really, it's both. It's really both. I haven't really had an experience with a gentleman or a female that has been different due to genders. They all either are supportive or they're not. Nothing specific like that. So in this industry and in, I haven't found anything odd like that. So it's really equaled out in that respect as far as they're not looking at you so much for being a woman. As opposed to what business you're in. Does that make sense? Yep, yep, absolutely. I agree with you. It's been my experience too. Alright, so one more thing that we're seeing. Cher did an interview and it was shared on TikTok and she says, I quote, “I love men. I think men are the coolest, but you don't really need them to live. My mom said to me, you know, you should settle down and marry a rich man. I said, mom, I am a rich man. You know, my experience with men is great because I like them. I don't need them.” Whoa! That’s a good perspective. What do you think about that? I mean, I think that's a really good perspective because it's, I think it's similar to signing a prenup. The reason I say that is because you should marry or be with someone because you get along, you like them. Money should not be the issue. A lot of times it is a motivation though. Is it not? So I feel like if you're both starting with nothing, thumbs up. There's no pre-nup needed. Nobody has anything. But if it's an unbalanced financial situation, when you go into it, one person is really a lot more well off than the other. I'm not mad at her as far as you know you make sure that they like you because of you. And I think that's one way to do it, just to make certain of that. So I agree with her. You don't need them, but you should like them. You know, it's great that we have come as far as we have, really. Um, I, if it were 50 years ago, I don't know what I'd do, you know, what I'd be doing, but being in the corner and being quiet is not my strong point. All right, we're coming to the end of the podcast. Vixen, is there anything that you would like to add on this topic? You know, I have to say just giving choices. I have to say the choices for you as far as entrepreneurship, it is a great thing. It is freeing, it is being able to set your own hours, but there is a level of discipline that you have to have. Even in a franchise, franchise is like someone giving you directions. but there is a level of discipline you have to have, as you call it, the stick-to-it-ness, is that what you said? That, so not easily getting up. But I have to say, also, you have to have that level of I don't care, because you cannot cry and wimp out in the corner the first time someone says, oh, I don't like whatever it is that you do. Say you're... I don't know, making drinks, you have a special drink you make. The first time someone doesn't like it, you can't cry in the corner and say, oh my god, I'm a failure, nobody's going to like this anymore. You have to have that level of gumption to understand that, yes, no one's going to like everything you do, but you've got to keep that level ahead and keep going because honestly, your goldmine is right there and as soon as you give up, you'll never hit it. Mm-hmm. You're absolutely right that stick-with-it-ness and ability to let it roll off. For me the only thing I can think of so today I had lunch with a former coach and he’s really helped transform my business. He said to me before, entrepreneurship those who don't do it can't understand it and he's right. It is hard to explain entrepreneurship to anybody else until they've done it And he's right too that, you know, it's something that you're going to put everything into. And a lot, when you mentioned balance and all of that? It just made me think, you know, maybe, maybe spouses might understand it, but you really, truly, um, it's not, it's, it's not for everyone. It is not for the weak. Um, it is its own sort of monster and it's magical and it's hard and it's all those things. But those who don't do it can't understand it. I agree. All right, well, thank you everyone for tuning in to the Light Her Project Podcast. You can always follow the conversation online with our hashtag. So in the meantime, keep it real, real women. With real talk.