Beauty Fixes… Without Surgery!

My friend and podcast co-host Vixen Divine discuss the topic of non-surgical beauty and figure fixes!

This is our final episode of Season 1 of the #LightHerProject podcast. We selected this subject because our very first episode, on body image, was our most popular one!

In this episode, we discuss:

• The pros and cons of non-surgical solutions
• The limitations of cosmetic surgery
• Non-surgical options for common skin and body challenges 
• How to deciphering beauty scams vs. real solutions 
• The optimal skincare routine
• Internal vs. external happiness and beauty
• What you must do internally to see a result you are happy with externally
• Investing in your appearance: how far is too far?

Join us for a discussion that brings our first season of the podcast full-circle!

Real women, Real talk!

Transcript

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Welcome to episode 19 of the Light Her Project Podcast. Real Women. Real talk. I'm Rachel Strella. and I'm Vixen Divine. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Today's topic is beauty fixes without surgery. So believe it or not, this is our final episode of season one of the podcast. So sad, so sad. So we decided that we discussed this topic because our first very first podcast on body image was our most popular episode. Very fitting, right? Yep, most people want to know about that. This topic is right up your alley, Vixen. Given your expertise as a licensed esthetician and massage therapist, you are also in the nursing industry, right? Yep, yep, did a lot of that. All right, well, dive right in because I know we've got a lot of expertise to share. So let's start out with our personal experiences. You know, for me, as I age, this topic becomes more and more relevant. And as a woman, there are always things that bother me. So we started this whole podcast I opened up about getting plastic surgery and how painful and ultimately unhelpful it was. So I'm always open to learning about ways that we can improve ourselves without the need for surgery. Yeah, if surgery is, I always feel like surgery should be a last resort or the beginning of someone who's very, very determined and directed. That should never be taken lightly. There should be like a lot of aftercare planned if you decide to do that, go that way. But for personal experiences and, you know, we talked about body images and that sort of thing, I I think I have shared previously that I have always been conscious of my body image because I was, you know, in pageantry. I was a model. So it was it was all about image, what you look like, how you stood, how you presented yourself. It was always about that. Even, yeah, good grades in school, got good grades in school. Very, very good. I just happened to be smart in that way. But at that same time then it was also that kind of side thing about that. So I've always been conscious of that. So at an early age, I was always able to start learning about makeup, skincare, that sort of thing. So then it kind of went into that profession that, but then caring about your body as you do it, cause I know you've all seen some fails, just basic fails, just looking at like, why did you do that? So, there's a lot to be said on this topic. Well, for me, I mean, I've already answered this question, but is it positive or negative to go the route of non-surgical solutions? You know, and I, for me, I know, I think anytime you can avoid surgery, the better. I don't know if you want to expand on that anymore. Yeah, well, here's the thing about non-surgical solutions. Either way, honestly, surgery should be reserved, in my opinion, should be reserved for the person who is basically at the end, at their wit’s end. In other words, they weigh 500 pounds, you know, and they're at that time when it is like life, like you need to get this off. But at that same time then, if you're gonna go the surgical route, you need to have, and this is the part that I see a lot of people mistake. They think it's a one and done. There should be a lot of aftercare to make that successful. There's all kinds of ways this can go really, really bad, really, really quick. And I've seen those happen. So as far as non-surgical and surgical, that's... a big difference to consider. Also though, for non-surgical people, I see this a lot, people mistake non-surgical for non-invasive. So just because you are not having surgery does not mean it's not invasive. There are some procedures from an aesthetic point of view. You can be, you can look like hamburger meat at the end. There is blood involved. There's anesthesia involved. One that comes to mind that's really, really common is micro-needling. Because there's different depths to it. Literally, you can be numbed for micro-needling and you can be bloody. It goes in like there's different depths to it. So just don't mistake, just know what you're getting into. Non-surgical for non-invasive, that doesn't mean the same thing. I’m really glad you pointed that out and I'm also really glad that you mentioned that the surgery post-op and pre-op are very critical because both of those were fails for me in my surgical solution and had they been done correctly I think the outcome would have been a lot better. Well, so while we're talking about cosmetic surgery, how much cosmetic surgery is too much? I mean, let's face it, we've all seen those folks who have had too much. The plucking, the celebs especially, you know, and there’s shows dedicated to his like Botched. You know, I think the real housewives of Salt Lake City, the one gal owns a beauty lab, laser place, you know, her friends get treatments in there all the time, you know, whatever it is that they need. Oh, so what do you, I don't know Vixen, how much is too much? For the average person, the only reason we know about celebrities, honestly, is because they're celebrities. People are, you know, they're taking pictures of them all the time, but there are plenty of botched surgeries that we are not aware of. Unless we're friends with the person who got, you know, we're not in sight with the person two towns away or whatever, we don't see those people because paparazzi is not following them around. But there are, feel free to look, I always say Google it, feel free to look it up. There is plenty of statistics about botched about botched surgeries. But how much is too much for the average person? One to two period. Meaning, because there's sometimes this happens when you were growing up, oh my God, you got so teased about your nose. You hate your nose. It's to you, it looks like it's from here to two blocks over. It's the first thing people see and you cannot stand it. That is a case. That self-esteem is probably way down about your, you know, that brings you, you don't think you're beautiful because of your nose. And it's been so long. Like that is, to me, is a case for surgery to get your rhinoplasty done because that will get all around, that'll just bring your self-esteem up. It's been so long, so many years, that type of thing. And then maybe if you want one other thing, you know, something. But that should be it for the average regular person. There should be no reason other than a medical reason, like a breast reduction or something. Other than that, just, you shouldn't get, be getting just that done. I agree with that. And I, you know, I think that it can be addicting to get surgery and you see like a noticeable difference and like, what else can I get done next? That's how it is with these TV shows that I see, you know, it's like, oh, well, that turned out great. Now I want to get my knees done. So, well, let's talk about let's talk about quick fixes, because I'm guilty of this. So the lose weight fast or take the pill a day and you'll turn back the clock. 20 years, you know. How can you tell, you know, a scam from what's real? So I said, I'm guilty of this. I get served so many ads on Facebook. They know that what I'm looking for. And the best way that I could tell like something real from a scam is by reading all the reviews and reading all the comments, like, especially if I see a Facebook ad, if I see, you know, 500 comments, I'm going to read through all of them. I want to know a good, bad, and ugly. But I won't just trust like whatever's on their Amazon. Like I wanna know what's being said. That's the only way I've been able to decipher what's the real deal and like what's just a complete bogus scam and you're wasting your money. Well, even the ones that are not a waste of money are super expensive. Like the big one now is Ozempic or anything like Ozempic. It is not, it was not designated for that originally, but all the stars and the affluence are using it and it works. It works, it'll set you back a whole lot of money. And so honestly, it's one of those things that we know that works because it's been in the news, we've seen it, that sort of thing. But when you see those ads that you're talking about, you have to really be prepared, look at the money back guarantee. Because honestly, just because, like if I'm the person selling it, just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it's gonna work for you. Our bodies are not the same. And yes, maybe I used that, but maybe I used something else that I didn't mention. So yes, that was a part of it. So basically what I'm saying is a lot of times they're not telling the entire truth. Um, and the black and white meaning, okay, you take this, this is the weight you're going to lose. There's a whole lot behind that. So if you're looking, or if you're really skeptical, you can read all the reviews like you talked about, or you can just like prepare to But if you think it's gonna fail, just don't buy it. Just don't buy it. I always just ask you first. I'll be like, oh, so those things people wearing under their eyes, are gonna work for me? Yeah, no. Some things I see, like some things you show me, I see. And I'm just like, yeah, that's not going to do anything at all. I, you know, you're right though. It's, it's, everyone is different. And one of the things again, I like about not just reviews, but reading comments on posts is like people will be like, Oh, that girl's like 20, 20 years old. You know, I'm 55 and, and was it going to work for me? And then other people like in that age group are going to comment and be real. So that's what I like about reading all the comments. One thing to be careful of in comments though, when you read the comments, because I've seen this a million times, I have seen a comment about a product that is not about the product. The comment is one star. Why is it one star? It came to me broken. Or that bottle's too small. Or they never even tried the product. It is not about the product at all. But they gave it a one star because of something else. Or they're really happy because they had great customer service. Nothing to do with the product. Right. I know what I'm in social media, Vixen. I could tell the difference. So I’m doing research, my homework, you know, I can tell. All right, let's talk about and this is going to be a question for you all around Vixen, what are some valid, you know, that you know, tried and true non surgical options for some of the common issues that women face things like Sagging skin, wrinkles, weight gain, cellulite. That's a lot to unpack. Well, I'll tell you one of the most reliable, there are things that come and go. In this industry, honestly, there's the new, there's the newer new and there's the newest new, honestly. Not to say the new and the newest new are not working, but if you're gonna pick something that you, from here to yesterday, till tomorrow, that you know is going to work for sagging skin and wrinkles, radio frequency. On all honesty, that's going to work. That's going to work every single time. Why’s that? Because it's actually FDA approved, believe it or not. The radio frequency actually goes through the skin. It warms up the tissue, and it adds a element of distress to the tissue to where then they go back and they need to repair themselves. So when they, they're basically rebuilding themselves. And when they do that, of course you have fresher skin, you have plumper skin, right? The collagen starts to come out, but you have to drink a million gallons of water. You have to be hydrated, hydrated. I'm exaggerating when I say a million, but you have to be really, really hydrated because it does work in conjunction with that. Which is not hard to do, especially if you know you have an appointment coming up, but radio frequency number one hands down. That can and that can do two things there is an element to it that can lift sagging skin, but at a different frequency it can also shrink your body. So that's where the professionals come in. You know, with that, so if you get something, and I haven't seen anything for home use. So if you get something for home, they might be out there, you know, because it comes every day, they change all the time. If you get something for home use that is radiofrequency, make sure it comes with specific directions, first of all. Don't get any radiofrequency for your body. If it says for your body, don't buy it, don't. As a lay person, do not buy that because that is, that's way, no, don't do that. But there may be, you know, they come out with these little gadgets that you can use on your face sometimes, that sort of thing. So if you find a little something like that, then you can probably buy it with because it's probably not the strength. I would think that it would be like in my office, but it's a little something that gets you in between. Same thing with cold. Cold back in the day, years, years ago, if you wanted your face to be lifted and stiff and like right there, you would literally dump your face in cold water, like ice cold water, you dump your face in it, leave it there so you can't breathe anymore, then you come up. But the cold will actually, temporarily of course, but for that day make your face nice and tight. So along that line, cryotherapy, and that's where that kind of thing, cryotherapy is great for that occasion that you're having, your family reunion, your special thing. So if you wanna get, you can be a series which will get you along more permanent. But if you just need like that thing that you're going to, that is great lifter, great life, safe. And that's something you can do. They have the ice balls and they have the little roller ice, but cold will do it, cold will do it. Those are tried and true. It also works with cellulite, but weight gain. Let me tell you about weight gain. Weight gain is one of those things that if you have it, and again, let's go with the family reunion. Go into the family reunion and you have gained a few pounds and just can't quite get into the dress that you want to get into. The fastest way at home for you to do something is, they have these things called waist snatchers. I know. Some people call it cinchers. Some people call it corsets. Some people call it that kind of thing. But back in the day, you would actually, they have what they call bones in them. Like actually, they really hold you in and they give you that appearance of. Yeah, I mean, I've seen that. Yes. But you have to look around to find a good one. Because there's a lot of junk out there that you'll be spilling out over here, even though you're cinched over there. So I advise for you to buy the ones with the straps up top. And it goes all the way down to the mid-thigh. You're completely covered. Everything is in. And your dress will go on nice and smooth. It will fall nicely. So if you have that kind of emergency, because there is nothing other than surgery, and I'm telling you the truth, ladies, there is nothing other than surgery that is going to make you look thinner quickly. Wow, okay. All right. I mean, I've seen Scarlett O'Hara, Gone with the Wind, they just squeeze and squeeze and squeeze. That works that works. They have shapewear that claims to do that now, but I've never tried it. But I do see a lot of things on those ads that go by that you can lose 10 pounds on a weekend just by doing this cleanse or 20 pounds by Tuesday, you know, by using this skinny thing. So, you know, what's real, I don't know, I haven't tried any of those. I'll tell you what that is. Usually that is a intestinal, basically an intestinal dump. So you're losing you on the scale it will say you lost weight and you may breathe you may feel a little lighter but it's not going to help you get in that dress. Mmm. Yeah, so it's just water weight, it sounds like. And feces basically. Okay, all right, so it might make you a little less bloated, but okay. No. Hey, good to know because I'm always willing to try things and now I know, stay away. All right, so what's the optimal skincare routine? And you know me, if you're asking me that question, I'm going to say soap and water. So Vixen all you again. Well, no, soap and water, like I think I was saying earlier, soap and water, there's different degrees of how bad that could be, depending on the soap and the water, believe it or not. If you have hard water, like that even makes a difference. The type of water that you have even makes a difference. And the type of soap that you have, if you're using Dove, that is one quarter moisturizing. Or you're using Zest that's zestfully clean. Those are different soaps, absolutely different soaps. So you're probably going to look more like a prune over here. You're not gonna look that great over here, but you're definitely gonna look like a prune over here because it's just gonna dry out more. So, and plus depending on the water that you have. So. That could not entirely be really, really bad, but it could be super bad. But the optimal skincare routine is the routine that's great for your skin type. I see this mistake so often. No matter what level of skincare products that you have, anything from soap, all the way to pharmaceutical grade skincare. If you buy the skincare that is wrong for your skin type, it's not gonna be effective. It will be adversely effective actually. I have seen, and I'm not making this up. I have seen somebody, they get into their thirties. They start to get a few lines, wrinkles, that kind of thing. Not too many, just a few just starting. Panic ensues. They throw away everything. They go to the store. They buy the most anti-aging thing they ever have. And then guess what they have? Pimples. Yep. I believe you. I've been guilty of trying different products just because why not? This is bothering me. And I got a rash from one. I broke out from another. So now Vixen has me on my own little skincare routine. And I haven't had any issues with that, fortunately, but you're right. It really does come down to your, what works for you. Seeing what everybody else is trying and what works for them isn't necessarily the answer. I would say, and even from a cost perspective, some people, they're on a budget. I get it. You can't afford to go to an esthetician once a month. But I would say, even if you go once every three months, once every six months, and really once every three, because your skincare kind of starts to run out about then. So even if you went really once every three months, because then they can give you a good clean, they can reevaluate your skin every three months, and then you're properly buying the products that you need to buy to help you because skincare at home is everything. Because I only see you, what if I see you once a month? That's only one day out of those 30 days, you see you most of that time, not me. So those skincare at home routines, essential. Yep. No, I agree with you. I very much agree with you. And I before I started seeing you Vixen, it had been years since I had anybody that was doing a facial or anything for my skin. So we had some backtracking to do and now I have a regular process. Had I had that 10 years ago, you know, maybe my skin would look a little more like yours. So well, all right, let's talk about something a little bit different here. You know, we're talking about looks and appearance. Happy on the inside, happy on the outside. Now, what do you have to do internally to see a result that you're happy with externally? You know, and I think a lot of people do this the opposite way, that they fix that external thing to make them feel better internally, you know? And sometimes it does actually help, but it's temporary. You know? And I think... One of the things about being a woman too, is that we have to remember that not every day we will feel the exact same way. You know, sometimes we love ourselves and sometimes we don't. You know, I think that's natural. I think from my perspective what's most important is that search for the internal happiness, not just doing something externally to constantly make up for that internal unhappiness. I agree with you. I see a lot of what I like to call false happiness. And a lot of times that is overdone. I see. When I say and it's going to hurt some people's feelings, but I see everything I mean, when I say false, false eyelashes, false nails, false hair like. There is nothing real about you. Like you have so, the makeup is like this thick. Like there is, you covered up so much of you to make yourself feel better. I mean, and the hair, the hair is pristine. You know, it's all, you know, great. Don't get me wrong, it's a great job. But you have done so much covered up, covering up like. Are you happy with yourself? Like, is there a you in there? Yeah, actually, it's interesting you bring this up because I'm jealous of people who have that totally awesome external look. You know, like I'm like, I want to look that good on camera, or whatever it is, you know. So your perspective is different for me. Really is I, you know, I had never thought about you, how do I? How do I look? Do I look natural? Well, you know what though, after, and this is the thing, after so long of doing that, it becomes, like you talked about addicting, there's a saying called hooked on the look. So, even if you didn't in the beginning of your doing that, think that was odd. What happens is after you've been doing that for so long, you have a certain expectation now of what you look like when you look in the mirror. So then when you don't have those eyelashes on, guess what, your lashes aren't that long, right? So now they don't look good, but they're your lashes, but now they don't look good. You don't have on that makeup and your skin, oh, now it doesn't look good because you don't have on makeup. You know what I mean? You have, your hair is not pristine, it's not done. It's not the weave, the wig, the hair is not done. So now... You have your own and it doesn't look good. Because now you're hooked on the look of that everything being perfect. So now you don't like you. Mm-hmm. Now that doesn't happen to everybody. Just saying, just wanna put that out there. I was just talking to Natalie yesterday at Tres Chic about this. We were talking about Botox. And you know, she said, have you ever tried that or thought of that? And I said, Vixen’s kind of warned me, you know, against it. But I also, you know, understand how that could be addicting. Like if you see a result from it, you want that all the time. So you want to keep going, going and hooked on a look. If you go without Botox for a year, you're going to notice it and it's going to bother you then. Right. And that's you, you become addicted to that altered look. Now, as you do your skincare, as you do your treatments, it's a, it's a slight process. It's a slight change. Whereas it's not so much of a change that you, you know, you don't recognize you. So you're just a better version of yourself. You're not altering your look. Yeah, yeah, no, I agree with you. Well, all right, so we're almost done here. We're gonna -- one more thing. So along the same line, is an investment, you know, in your appearance self care? Or can it go the opposite way? Is it more vanity of self obsession? What is that line? No, and I think it depends on how far you do go. Some people do really become obsessed and I kind of liken it to people who have eating disorders. You know, they never feel like they're skinny enough. You know, for a while tanning was all the rage, you know, and they weren't tan enough. So I do believe that it can go way too far because you don't know what looks good other than what it is that you feel like you've been doing up to this point and it's never enough. Well, I think there's a way to gauge that. This is a good way to start at least to gauge it. If... Let's keep the example that I had a minute ago with the person who does all these things, right? If you can't go to the store without it, if you're afraid to go in public without it, if you're afraid to present you, You know, without all of that, at any point, there are people that will not leave their house, like anywhere. I understand you're going to work, you know, an event or whatever, you're going to work and this is the way you look at work, but like they can't be at home. I know a woman literally who will not wash her makeup off until four in the morning when her husband is asleep and then she puts it right back on. Wow, now that’s some insecurity. It is, and it can become a crutch. So think of it this way. If it's something that you can't live without, you feel like you cannot go out there and be the regular you without all of this stuff, that means you're addicted to it. That's a problem. That's something you want to. And maybe to back off of it, if you're hearing this, you're like, you know what? That's me. One thing at a time. Don't just. Maybe we'll start with like taking off your lashes and using mascara. Do you know what I mean? Something like so one thing at a time till you get used to that. And then maybe you can go with like wearing less makeup, you know, so back off of it one thing at a time to help if you're, if this is you we're talking about. And then that way you can start because it is a process the brain has got to actually remember what you look like and accept what you... who you are and what you look like because now it's accepted a different thing. That's actually a really great point. I'm really glad you brought this up. This is some good stuff. Well, we are coming to the end of the podcast and this has been such a wild ride. We've done 19 episodes. We just were wrapping season one. I've enjoyed every second of it. And we're gonna reboot season two, in the spring. In time, I just hope that everybody will give us feedback. Let us know what they wanna hear about. And you can always follow us online with the hashtag #LightHerProject. In the meantime, keep it real. Real women. With real talk.