Introvert vs. Extrovert: Does It Really Matter?

Welcome to Season 2 of the #LightHerProject podcast! With this new season, we are excited to be a little more bold. Vixen and I plan to speak our truth. We have different viewpoints, but we are respectful of each other and I hope that our truth and our variety will resonate with all of our listeners. 

Today, we're diving straight into the depths of personality with a topic that's sure to spark intrigue: Introverts vs. Extroverts.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Our individual personality test results and how they impact our style
• Celebrities who share our personality traits
• How different personality types embrace self-care and relaxation
• Opposite personalities: Do they attract each other?
• Social preferences for introverts and extroverts
• What triggers us based on our personality 
• Embracing diversity in personality types as we navigate relationships

Join us for a fun and informative conversation!

#LightHerProject #Podcastforwomen #introvert #extrovert

Real women, Real talk!

Transcript

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Welcome to season two of the Light Her Project podcast, Real Women. Real talk. I'm Rachel Strella. and I'm Vixen Divine. Welcome back to the new season. This season we are actually really excited because we're going to be a little bit more bold. Vixen and I, you know, we're really just testing how this whole podcast thing would work out, you know, and we loved it and I think we got some great feedback and now we realize we really want to speak our truth even more. So one of the things that I love about Vixen and I is we have different viewpoints about, well, pretty much everything, but we're respectful of each other, you know, and I hope that our truth and our variety will resonate with all of our listeners. We’re like the odd couple. Yes, we are. We really are. But hey, we got something you can't emulate. Right, it works. Well, we're going to dive into a little bit of a different topic today. We're going to talk about the depths of personalities and more along lines of like introverts versus extroverts. Because like I said, Vixen and I are very different. So just for fun, you know, how does an extrovert introduce themselves to an introvert? Extrovert says, hey, let's hang out sometime. Introvert. Sure, I'll text you. Exactly. It's so true. We're like, hey, I just got here. Anybody want to play? Yeah, um, hey, the world needs different people. So I've got some great jokes that I found yesterday. Well, I'm glad that we were able to find some things. We found a lot of things on, you know, Dr. Google, I like to call it Dr. Google. Because Dr. Google knows like there's an authority on everything, right? Yep! I find out every health ailment, which I probably shouldn't. Oh well, so all kidding aside, we'll talk about these differences a little bit. So this is like a fun sort of precursor to the podcast, Vixen and I took a personality test. We took it separately and well, I thought we'd share our results. You may or may not be surprised. So as far as my personality test, I was found as a logistician, fact-minded, reliability cannot be doubted. Okay, I'm 73% introverted, which... That makes sense because I'm a situational extrovert, you know, I can, I can come out of my shell when I'm, you know, if I've had a cocktail, I'm in the right environment. So I totally, totally believe that. What about you Vixen? What did you find out? You come out of your shell when you think it's safe, like really, is really what it is. I came out with, yes, I am an extrovert, no surprise to anyone. But I came out, my personality was called the debater. Quick witted. And you know what, this was what I found curious. There are two different types. There's the A and the B. And that's the A is assertive. And I noticed this, this is a thing where, and I thought about it. When you have someone who's an extrovert, there's one of two types of extroverts. There's the one who's like, oh god, here comes Vixen. She's going to be loud and boisterous and oh my god, she's going to just, ugh. Or the person who's also an extrovert, but really just keeps it at conversational level. And you know that life of the party that's really annoying? That's really loud and annoying, that's also an extrovert, but that's a different type of extrovert than I am. So I didn't realize there were two types. And I know both and the the former is the one where you really have to take them small doses Yes. But I am an introvert, like just almost half the time, like 39 % of the time actually. Okay. So you actually have a little bit more of the other quality than I do. So like I'm, mine was like 73, 27. So that's interesting. But you don't come off to me as like the loud party type. Yeah, so yeah, there's a lot of other really interesting stuff in here. But one thing that Vixen actually called to my attention was the celebrities that kind of match up with so Vixen. At first she told me Weird Al Jankovic, okay, and I thought well I guess it kind of makes sense but didn't she say Celine Dion? Well, here's the thing about her. She is like when Renee died, her husband, she wasn't afraid to come out and speak about it. And think of her fashion sense. Like she'll dress, like we'll look at her like she's crazy, but she's like, I'm wearing it. You ever see her? Like she is like that. But I'm going to say she's that reserved type. Like she's an A like me. She’s... I don’t think she’s loud and boisterous like that type of assertive. Right. Right. That makes sense. And there are some other ones that are like more well known, you know, like Tom Hanks, Like, not some celebrities that almost everybody knows or has heard of. Well here's somebody I didn't, I wouldn't have thought was necessarily an extrovert. Muhammad Ali, everyone knows him, but I'm thinking that he's the other one, the loud and boisterous one. He's an extrovert as well, but I'm thinking he's the other type of extrovert. Funny how that is. Well, we don't know them. We feel like we know them because we see them on TV or whatever, but don't know them. So that's what's great because sometimes it could be just in character. I actually met him one time, Muhammad Ali. Okay. It was not a pleasant experience, I'll just say that. And he was drunk and he was loud and yeah, it was in a restaurant. So he had already had, I think drinks before I got there. So it wasn't necessarily the best, but like I said, he wasn't getting fight ready, you know, or anything at this point. You know so. He’s doing his thing, you know everybody gets to do their thing. But I could definitely see how that, other side of personality came out. I could see that yeah. I mean, if you're a little too far over the edge, you just flip over to that other personality is kind of like, you know, just a flop when you've had that last drink that was probably the last one you shouldn't have had. Well, as far as my celebs, Sting, and I mean, I heard his music and stuff, but I don't really know anything about his personality. Denzel Washington, and Natalie Portman. It's funny, I was telling Amy, my EVP about my celeb matchups yesterday, and she's like, Oh I can totally see the Natalie Portman thing. I mean, I am who I am. Denzel Washington though, I did not see that coming for an introvert. I didn't see it coming. I mean, I know he's not out in the spotlight. He's not loud like he plays his parts and that sort of thing, but I just didn't see that coming. I don't know, he kind of always seems a little more reserved. So, hmm, I don't know. It's just funny, like I said, you see people on TV, they're a character, you know, so you don't really know, though. The real them. So that’s kind of interesting. I thought that was a lot of fun. While we're thinking about celebs who are like one personality or the other. So kind of surprised or not surprised. So introverts. We have Bill Gates, Elon Musk. That...that’s interesting. I can see that though. I think if I'm not mistaken, I think he's at least a bit autistic. And the way I understand, like that's what Dr. Google says. So that makes it true. Okay. Google knows all. So that's where I heard it. So. There's Lady Gaga too. She's an introvert. Which, you wouldn't think so when you see her on stage, but when I've seen her in other things, like I could tell, you know. Okay. And no surprise here like Julia Roberts, you know, I kind of feel like that she's also more on the reserved sort of side. What about you? What celebs match up with you? Are you surprised? Oh, you're ready for this? I got one for you. I got a couple. And I'm not surprised, but the celebs that I found, they seem to be political. Interesting. Political. And you know, we're standing and I could see us being political people that stand up on our soapbox. We got a lot to say. So Winston Churchill. Yep, okay, all right. Ben Franklin. Dr. Martin Luther King, and here's one you ready for this one? Bill Clinton. So this doesn’t surprise me. Politicians need a level of of extroversion to able to politic, you know, to blog, to be out building relationships, to get those constituents to, you know, work with them. And they have to have thick skin. They do. They do. They have to have thick skin. So there's a level of debating and like we are the debaters, right? There's a level of debater, but you have to have that reserve style to be able to listen to your other opponent to be able to respond appropriately. I agree with you. Well that doesn't explain some other politicians, but that's a topic for another day. So this is a fun little exercise and you know one thought that I've been thinking you know as we talk about this and just about some of our personalities with you and I, Vixen, and you know do opposites attract? Do you think that we get along well because we’re not the same. I do, I do. I feel like for us, it's like a fill in the gap type of thing. And all you guys out there think about this, I think you might find this the same. Whereas if you have a friend or a spouse or someone you're around all the time, how you are and how they are not, it's like then you can match and fill in the pieces. The legos don't fit if they're exactly the same. They have to be that opposite to work. Yeah. I never really thought of it like that, but I’ve been watching the show, you’ve probably heard of it, probably seen it, Love Is Blind on Netflix. And, you know, I just started watching it literally week ago and I'm already at the end of season two. So, been binging. And it's funny seeing these personalities and like the reason they work well is because they're so different. You know, and they just met each other. Well, actually, they hadn't even physically seen each other before they were ready to propose. You know? And then they go and they have like basically about less than a month till they're actually married where they're getting to know each other. And that's where you start to see where the opposites are sometimes annoying but work. I think it’s an interesting-- in a show like that, I've seen like pieces of it, but not like the whole thing. But shows like that, I feel like that's an intellectual relationship first. And that is something and some personalities are really strong at that. If you like, for instance, for you, someone who's an introvert, that show sounds like it's perfect because you don't actually have to be right there with the person, but you're still get to talk to them. Whereas an extrovert, we're like trying to see through the curtain. We're trying to see through the curtain. I could see that! There’s like a safety in not being able to actually to see the person. Sometimes I miss just talking on the phone, everything is now video, Zoom. You know so, it’s just easier to express your feelings while everyone can’t see you. Right. It’s that emotional connection that they're building there too. That makes sense. That's a good point and probably why I'm addicted to the show. But that's okay. I mean, it worked for a lot of people. I mean, these shows are very popular, but years ago, before the whole video, Zoom thing, that's what you did, right? You got somebody's phone number and you called them and you tell, I know, right? Like what? You called them and you talked to them before you even went out. No you know what’s funny is I-- there’s like 1 or 2 clients that I still have phone calls with. Because I had them established well before, you know, Zoom was a thing. And now my team also participates in the calls. But when we're on the calls, it's hard to know who's supposed to be talking and when, because you don't have now that physical recognition that we're used to because we're used to seeing people and kind of gauging the room but there's just silence and then we all start to talk at once. Then everybody talks again. It's like we don't know, you can't tell by the body language, you know, who's talking. So it's funny how much communication can change when you're so used to being able to see people. It does. It makes a difference. Like even on the Zooms and we can see each other and you're right, you can look at somebody's eyes, you can gauge their body language, but you know what? I don't know when you were talking on the phone and you didn't have that, it still was just like a vibe. You either got the vibe or you didn't. And so you knew. So that's what I think that that show seems to be like. Like you're either getting the vibe or you're not getting it. Yep, it totally reminds me of being a teenager talking to boys on the phone. Yeah, totally. I mean, I think it's great. I think it's a little scary to think what they do, but it's a great show. Yeah, opposites, yeah. So my husband took the personality test too, and his wasn't too much different from mine. We're actually a lot more like, which is kind of scary, but we work well together. But we fill in the blanks for the things where we kind of like, one is more than the other, you know? And that works out well because like, I'm the planner. Organize everything's got a place, you know, and he needs that because as much as he's like really works hard he needs that like Organization because he'll just work and work and work and work and not even look up and like oh I didn't get it these other ten things done yet because I'm still working on this and I'm like no no no you gotta go, move, come on, next thing. It works, you know. I am, my introvert does come out because I have to be the planner of my household because my husband just can't. He just can't. So it's like, I have to plan dinner. I have to plan. He can still be home. It's like, he can't make dinner. You mean “can't.” Yeah, I can't. I forgot how to cook. Oh how convenient! He and I think he just, you know, we're just getting older. He's like, I really don't. People will survive if I don't cook like that kind of like that kind of thing. And you know what we do. We do. You always have those sacrifices you make for the other person, you know? Here in Penn State, Saturdays, all the cats run and hide. You know, like, that's a sacrifice I make because my office is in our main room and he's throwing the football and furniture is getting knocked over. It's like those things where you make things work, you know? So, it's funny, I was just researching stuff and learning more about this topic and there are actual personality types that are attracted more to certain kinds of animals too. So, like I have four cats and cats are actually known to be better, like they're more compatible with the introvert personality whereas dogs are more compatible with the extrovert. Absolutely, there is no way I would have cat. There is no way that that cat gets to sit over there. No, no, no, no. You don't get to make that decision. So yeah, I can totally, absolutely see that because, mm-mmh. I thought it was fun. I didn't give it to any other animals but I'm sure there are some quirky things that explain a lot of personalities. I have a guy on my team that has a hedgehog, you know, cutest little thing. Oh okay! And his personality is quite quirky. I hadn't considered that one. I hadn't considered the hedgehog. Honestly, I did not. So let's see here we got a couple of things we can talk about and I think that Vixen you might particularly like this one. You know how do you think that self -care changes for different personality types. Well, for an introvert, for instance, in self-care, they're first of all going to consider other people. You're going to consider what other people are doing, where they are, time of day, like that kind of thing. So you're going to kind of set it up to make it because you're an introvert. You probably don't want people seeing like what you're doing, you know, because it's, whereas an extrovert, I'm going to make the plan. I'm going to tell you when I'm going to do it. Whatever you're doing, oh, well, you do you. I'm doing me. I'm doing it at this time. It doesn't matter. So the type of planning that is made between the introvert and extrovert is definitely going to be different. Mm-hmm. And I think how we actually unwind is different too. I think introverts tend to be more like, I'd rather take a bubble bath and read a book. And extroverts, they get energy from other people. Maybe their idea of self-care is actually just a night out. That is, see, that's the other extrovert. Okay, that's a party animal. There's party animals there. That's not you. My, when I say like for me, for self care, when like I am liable, the only reason I consider you, see this is you, this is your fault. The only reason that I don't show up in like a sweatshirt and a face mask on is because I know you don't like it. Because see, for me, that's me considering you, because I'm like that, I do that. And I know you don't like it, but for me, like I don't care. So I get the same thing. Look, in my mind, I'm like the same thing is gonna come out my mouth no matter how comfortable I am. So I would be doing self care and talking and reading. Like I do it all at the same time. The older I get I feel the stronger importance of self-care. Learning my personality and others like it gives us space without feeling like maybe this person doesn't like me you know like the one who wants to hang out all the time I'm just like ehh. Once a year is plenty for me you know and I feel like now that I'm older too it doesn't really matter like they're not like oh man Rachel she's a snob. You know, nothing like that. Like it's more like just something that evolves, you know, once you learn yourself and where you are in relation to other people. And I don't think I've ever had anyone take offense because I didn't want to hang out, you know. Yeah you're not a snob, you just don't want anything to do with them. As bad as it sounds, right? That is perfectly acceptable. You know that that person crosses your limit after 20 minutes. You've accepted that. Yeah I mean, but there are people I like to hang out with, but it has to be when I'm in my limited extrovert mode. Now is that predictable? Predictable? Sort of. I feel like that’s not predictable. Like when you’re gonna be an extrovert. Well, sort of. When I'm working during the day, everyone that knows me. You could ask my family, my in -laws, don't bother me when I'm in my work mode. Don't just stop by and say hi. I'm in my mode. You know so. But when I'm done with work. And when I can actually relax, I come out of my shell more, I can feel relaxed, and I want to socialize sometimes. I'll talk to my neighbor for hours, randomly. So it just depends on what I have going on. If I've got a high stress or high focus situation, it's really hard for me to break out of that because people want to hang out. And you need to concentrate. Yes, yes. Yeah, it's different. And I would love to know from the people out there, leave it in the comments, what your trigger is to either, if you're an extrovert, what's your trigger to be an introvert? And if you're an introvert, what's your trigger to be an extrovert? You know, what situation do you need to be in to be an introvert? Like if you're an extrovert, like what is that for you? I think, and I know for me personally, it's like feeling comfortable in my environment too. Like I need to know everybody who's there and what role they have, you know. So when I'm going to like a networking event, that's high stress for me. I need to really know what's going on. Right, unpredictable. Yeah. Yeah, that no, that that makes perfect sense because you're kind of on guard. If you don't know how you can be because you don't know these people yet. Right. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Once you get to know them, then you know. Then we can kind of bring it down. Well, I hope the audience does respond and let us know their triggers. Do you have a specific trigger? I do. When I'm in that room with like say a network networking event and I'm in that room and I don't know like half the people, I'm a watch and wait. Oh, I believe me when I'm watching, I am watching. I'm observing before I open my mouth because I'm going to open my mouth appropriately. But once I do, don't don't come out there wrong because we're going to debate about it. We're going to talk. We're going to talk. What they say, we're going to talk about it. We do have some things in common then, because I mean, I observe it, you know, and things like that. So, and especially in a new environment, like I need to get a lay of the land before I'm going to jump in and start talking to people. That's interesting. But then you know, if I'm talking to that person and we start, and then a few minutes I start getting more and more comfortable. And then I start really like, all bets are off. All bets are off. You might turn into a party animal mode. So I cannot confirm or deny that I have been on tables, okay, with a drink in my hand and not even, wait a minute, and not even have alcohol in it. It doesn't need to have alcohol, okay? I've seen it. I've seen you dancing. We were talking about Barbie and you had your scarf and got to see she’s naturally just like that when she’s in her element. I’m just happy you feel so comfortable with me that you can dance around. No alcohol necessary. Everyone needs some of that We’re coming closer to the end here. Trying to think if there is anything else we should really touch on. I do want the audience to know and to understand that. I wasn't always an extrovert. Like it was something that was learned. Something that the equivalent like back in the day, we didn't know what a mantra was. Okay. They just told you the same thing over and over again. We just, that's what we've tagged it as later on in life. But so if you are an introvert or an extrovert and like you want to be the opposite, Or because sometimes you're an introvert and you really need to have some little more chutzpah to help you with your, like your job, to help you take that position, to, you know, to give it a try. Understand that it can be learned. It can, it can be learned. It doesn't have to, don't feel that you're stuck that way. If that's not the way that you want to be, um, understand that it can be learned. And there is, um, there are some classes and some learnings and things that you can take to be able to, coaching even, to be able to help you get there. And so we weren't always, everyone's not born this way. That's a good point. I'm thinking and discussing this that more people that are introverts would want to be extroverts or have extrovert personalities or traits than the opposite. I think so. I think so because we are, someone who's an extrovert is really usually a go-getter. Like they're not afraid. They're like, does anyone in the room want to, we're like, me, me. I'll do it. I'll do it. So, but the introvert is not that quick to move if they move at all. So they kind of miss out on the opportunity. So that is one thing I'm noticing also in my practice, because I coach people, talk to people also. What are we doing while we're on the table? So I've been hearing that for years, and I'm actually working on remedying that, like helping people to remedy that, because I see way too much of it, and you're losing revenue. Bottom line, you're losing money because of that. And you can turn it on and turn it off. You just have to know how to turn it on, like what your trigger can be. I totally agree with you there. I do because if I'm in the mindset that this is what I want to accomplish today, even if it means I'm not comfortable, I'll get it done. You know, I'll be at a networking event all day. I'll be exhausted afterwards, but I'll be on as much as I possibly can. All right. Well, I'm going to end with a little joke here. And this is so true. I talked to a couple friends about it yesterday. So I read it in this little site about jokes for introverts and it said, you never fully realize how anti-social you are until a pandemic strikes and your life does not really change. Okay, okay. I agree. A lot of people had to overhaul their whole setup, their whole life. Me, nothing really changed except my husband started working from home every other day. That was pretty much it. Okay, you know what, that was very true what you just said. Me, yeah, my life definitely like completely changed everything because I couldn't go out. Oh yeah. I had a lot of revenge people after that, like revenge travelers, revenge people who wanna go out and do things. So once everything opened up again, I was first person to run out the door. Oh, well, thank you for everybody for tuning into the podcast and thank you Vixen for coming back for another season with me, I think this is gonna be a lot of fun. You can always follow our conversation online, you know with the hashtag. And hey, for more jokes about introverts and extroverts, you can follow me on TikTok. In the meantime, keep it real. Real women. With real talk.